During postpartum, new parents often face decisions regarding their family heritage, traditions, and customs. Will the baby be baptized? Take on a family name? Will the new parent spend a strict forty days cocooned in warmth? Are there superstitious meals that must be consumed for health and prosperity? Or will all of this be pushed aside for the new family to form a whole new set of traditions?

Beloved Tradition - Annual Silberstein Family Lobster Fest, Circa 1995

The majority of us walk the fine line between the traditions we grew up with and the ones that more conveniently fit into our lives now. And while I believe in the start of new traditions, I do encourage those in Postpartum to take a look at their roots.

In the face of a new life, what carries on and what becomes forgotten?

Maybe you have grown to feel discomfort stepping into a church, but in the land where your ancestors settled, there is a tradition of foraging mushrooms in the spring or stomping on grapes at the end of summer, and that can be the custom you choose to carry forward. Food can hold as powerful a connectedness as prayer, and the holiday of Passover invites us into this intersection.

Starting with the Seder, everyone gathers around a table (or this year, a Zoom chat) and takes turns reading aloud from the Haggadah, which holds the story of Passover and its accompanying prayers. It is the time during the evening where all chatter of work and politics comes to a halt, and we take time to honor our roots. However, Passover is unique in the sense that food has a large participating role in the retelling of the story.

Parsley or celery (known as karpas) is used to symbolize new life or Springtime. Salt water and horseradish are used to symbolize the tears and bitter struggle of the Jewish people in Egypt. We dip the karpas into the saltwater to remind us that with struggle and hardship there is also a new season and new life.

After the seder, we eat! We eat and we drink, and maybe over the brisket, we discuss the rent of my cousin’s apartment in Manhattan. And maybe my cousin’s uncertainties are not so different from my great-great grandfather’s, who also left his home to build a life in that same city. And maybe while picking at the fruit salad, Grandpa is quiet and not fully present. But I know that when Grandpa’s mind wanders, it is being cradled by the roots of our family, and that when a new life is born, it is also being cradled by the roots of our family.

The recipe I am sharing is called Charoset. It is a mixture of apples, walnuts, wine, and spices, which during the Seder, symbolizes the mortar the slaves used to build the pyramids. And while the symbolism itself is part of the brutal collective memory, the dish is sweet and delicious.

As you’re considering which customs to carry forward with your new family, consider the idea that it is not necessarily the custom in full that needs to be passed on, but the concepts and the teachings. Maybe you make Charoset throughout the year to be reminded of the sweetness in life. Maybe you revamp the recipe to make it your own, while still acknowledging where it came from, acknowledging where you are now, and acknowledging that wherever you are going, there will be struggle and hardship, but also a new season and new life.

3 apples

2 tbl lemon juice

½ cup walnuts

¼ tsp cinnamon

½ tsp ground ginger

3 tbl wine

2-3 tbl honey

Chop apples coarsely by hand. Place them in a large bowl and toss them with lemon juice to prevent discoloration
Chop the walnuts coarsely by hand and add them to the apples. Add the cinnamon and ginger.
Pour in the wine and honey.
Let stand, covered, in the refrigerator for up to 6 hours or overnight, tossing the mixture periodically

Connecting To Your Roots In Postpartum